Vulnerability

A few weeks ago for community night, my house watched an online video from TED talks on vulnerability (TED talks are a series of online lectures from professors, businesses people, thinkers, etc. on unique ideas and new concepts... check em out!). 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

In this video, the professor of psychology states how she always wanted to categorize the world and to in essence 'figure people out.'  However, as most would suspect, relationships and people are much deeper and spirited than can be described by the scientific method.  In her research, she learned the value of being vulnerable and how this leads to being an authentic person.  I'm not going to try and explain everything she says (the video is for that!), but I would like to comment on some experiences of vulnerability as it relates to my year in JVC.

I feel like living in community this year and treating my housemates like family has made my appreciate my own family more.  I've had roommates in college before, and while those were great experiences, JVC house mates are not necessarily friends, but they are family.  I honestly don't believe I would have been close friends with them if we were in a college community, but in JVC, we have to live together and support each other (I guess it's like you can't pick your family, right?!).  So through this experience, I've learned the hard work and effort it takes to make connections and bring harmony to a home.  At our orientation, our advisor told us that the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference.  I don't have to agree with my house mates on everything and we have our arguments, but the one thing we never try to lose is that commitment to one another in creating a supportive community.

This has made me realize and appreciate the work my mom, dad, and brother have put into my own family.  Getting along with friends is easy, but our home is for our family - there is no "going home" from that.  So, through good and bad, we've had to stick by each other and support each other.  I've always known I've had the love and support of my family, but I guess I never realized the 'work' aspect of it.  It's not always convenient to stay up through the night with me when I was sick, or drive me to countless practices and meetings, or waiting for me in the driveway because I was the last one in the car every morning.  These are just a few examples of the way that in my good times and bad, convenient and inconvenient, my family has been there to support me regardless. 

Wait, wasn't this blog post about vulnerability? right!  So to bring it all together, I now realise that it is in our vulnerability that we are drawn closer together.  To truly need someone else in our lives sheds the independent and self sufficient attitude that can isolate us from each other.  Being vulnerable in front of another challenges the superficial and lets us be known and understood on a more loving level.  I know that when I see my housemates talk about their struggles at work or in relationships, it gives me comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one that has difficulties as well.