Melissa visits LA - round 2!

This past weekend, Melissa came to visit me in LA over her spring break and it was such a great time together!  Our first day, I wanted to show her downtown and how I could be savvy with public transportation.  Thus, off to the bus stop we went!  Armed with a cache of quarters and some single dollar bills, we power walked down to USC to catch an express bus to downtown.  Within a few minutes, a bus rolled up that didn't match our number, but it looked to be going to the same place.  I asked the driver, "this takes us to Olympic, right?"  He responds, "Yep! Hop on board."  I should have known trouble was coming when the machine on the bus wouldn't take our dollar bills.  We were very short on quarters and Melissa and I were standing at the front of the bus not allowed to sit until we paid (mind you, the driver already took off so we were trying to keep balanced while looking for money.  I found a nickel on the ground - whew! 5 cents closer to our goal.  Well after plenty of struggling, this husband and wife were our saviors and broke the bills for us with change.  Now that we finally were able to sit and relax until we got to downtown, I noticed something was wrong..... hmmmmm... look at all these foot massage stores.... and these signs I can't read.... and oh look! the sign that says welcome to.... KOREA TOWN?!?!?!   Yep, we were on the wrong bus heading 3 miles west of downtown.  Melissa and I got off and just decided to walk the whole thing in as it was nice out, and we just wanted to avoid any more bus mishaps. 

The rest of our day went without a problem though as we went to the Grammy museum, had lunch at a famous local diner (french toast at 2pm? I think so!), relaxed in Angel's Flight park, and then toured the Walt Disney concert hall.  It was a beautiful day downtown.

The next day we hiked to the Hollywood sign up in the mountains.  It was very foggy but it kept us cool and from sweating too much!  It was also nice just to get some fresh air by being out of the city streets.  One thing Melissa and I hadn't planned in our itinerary was to watch the Billikens play in the NCAA tournament, but as avid fans, there was no doubt we'd make room in our schedules.  We ended up going to a Buffalo Wild Wings and were the ONLY people in the bar rooting for SLU (much less, the only people who KNEW of SLU).  We were playing Memphis and with about 5 minutes to go in the game, it looked like we were going to lose it.  However, Rick Majerus worked his magic and we started pulling ahead.  I yelled, GO BILLIKENS and received some weird looks and a few comments of "what the hell is a Billiken?!"   I was just thinking to myself, a Billiken is a winner! That's what it is!  Needless to say, we won our first tournament game in over 14 years and it felt good. 

On Melissa's last day here we went to mass at Deloras Mission (the Jesuit parish of LA), and enjoyed the intimate feel and music.  I also said a few prayers for God to show some partiality to his Jesuit basketball teams and bless the Billikens with a win over #1 seed Michigan State (kidding!  sort of....)   While the Bills lost that game, it went down to the wire and we only lost by 4 points.  We had a respectable showing on national television and it made me proud to be a SLU grad. 

Although it was fun watching the Bills, just having Melissa here to visit was the absolute best.  We got to cook some meals for the community, she participated in spirituality night with us, and drink some beers and sangria to celebrate St. Patty's Day.  Having her around just made it feel normal to have her with me with friends. 

Below are some pictures from the visit and 'm already looking forward to our next visit to see each other!

Vulnerability

A few weeks ago for community night, my house watched an online video from TED talks on vulnerability (TED talks are a series of online lectures from professors, businesses people, thinkers, etc. on unique ideas and new concepts... check em out!). 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

In this video, the professor of psychology states how she always wanted to categorize the world and to in essence 'figure people out.'  However, as most would suspect, relationships and people are much deeper and spirited than can be described by the scientific method.  In her research, she learned the value of being vulnerable and how this leads to being an authentic person.  I'm not going to try and explain everything she says (the video is for that!), but I would like to comment on some experiences of vulnerability as it relates to my year in JVC.

I feel like living in community this year and treating my housemates like family has made my appreciate my own family more.  I've had roommates in college before, and while those were great experiences, JVC house mates are not necessarily friends, but they are family.  I honestly don't believe I would have been close friends with them if we were in a college community, but in JVC, we have to live together and support each other (I guess it's like you can't pick your family, right?!).  So through this experience, I've learned the hard work and effort it takes to make connections and bring harmony to a home.  At our orientation, our advisor told us that the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference.  I don't have to agree with my house mates on everything and we have our arguments, but the one thing we never try to lose is that commitment to one another in creating a supportive community.

This has made me realize and appreciate the work my mom, dad, and brother have put into my own family.  Getting along with friends is easy, but our home is for our family - there is no "going home" from that.  So, through good and bad, we've had to stick by each other and support each other.  I've always known I've had the love and support of my family, but I guess I never realized the 'work' aspect of it.  It's not always convenient to stay up through the night with me when I was sick, or drive me to countless practices and meetings, or waiting for me in the driveway because I was the last one in the car every morning.  These are just a few examples of the way that in my good times and bad, convenient and inconvenient, my family has been there to support me regardless. 

Wait, wasn't this blog post about vulnerability? right!  So to bring it all together, I now realise that it is in our vulnerability that we are drawn closer together.  To truly need someone else in our lives sheds the independent and self sufficient attitude that can isolate us from each other.  Being vulnerable in front of another challenges the superficial and lets us be known and understood on a more loving level.  I know that when I see my housemates talk about their struggles at work or in relationships, it gives me comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one that has difficulties as well. 

highs and lows in college guidance

It is the season for college acceptance letters, and things are not as ideal as I would have hoped.  Coming into this year, I was fresh off of my great experience at SLU and the Jesuit education I received there.  There was nothing more that I wanted than helping to send a few of the Verb seniors to Jesuit schools as well.  After all, they have good scholarships, inclusive communities, and match the Jesuit mission of the high school. 

Because I loved my experience at SLU so much makes the fact that the students aren't getting into the private schools tough to hear.  I've had a few students come talk to me in college guidance about how disappointed they were when they got rejection letters from SLU, Marquette, and Creighton.  Frankly, their scores are just too low.  I feel like I almost oversold them on the school though and now it has become a let down.  I feel like I was too idealistic in the Cristo Rey model in that it can turn students who come in at a 5 or 6th grade level to be Jesuit college ready in 4 years.  This is not to say that some students haven't done this and gotten into top universities, but naively hoped that all the students would.  In fact, the acceptances that students have received to Jesuit universities are to Georgetown, Marquette, SLU, Loyola Marymount, and University of San Francisco.  For these students, I am ecstatic that they have these to choose from.  And for the students that don't have these schools to choose from, I have now learned to be ecstatic for them as well, because their own selection of state schools and community colleges may be just what they need to succeed.   

For me, I am trying to be more realistic about moving forward with the students who are average and below average on test scores and GPA's.  SLU was great for me, but maybe they need the community college route to have a smoother transition to a 4 year.  Maybe they just aren't ready to leave home yet, or are expected to remain close to help support the family with time or supplemental income. 

The thing that all the students have is the desire to succeed.  Whether they go to a state school, Jesuit school, or community college, they are all excited to jump right in.  I just feel that I have grown to be more realistic and learned that the perfect college experience for me is not and should not be pitched to everyone as their own perfect college experience.