College Essays and Life's Challenges

Over the past two weeks, some of the most rewarding work I've done is help the students refine and polish their college essays.  We all remember the typical prompt - "Discuss an obstacle in life that you've had to overcome and how has this shaped you as a person."  For me, I wrote about moving from Salt Lake City to Chicago when I was 12.  Although this was definitely a difficult experience at the time, I feel it does not even compare to what some of the boys here at Verbum Dei have had to deal with.

One of the students wrote about how his parents came to the United States after fleeing the El Salvadoran civil war back in the 80's.  Those parents valued education because they had to quit school to work in the fields at age 12, although they wished they could have continued.  This student wants to be the first in his family to go to college to provide for his family, but he realizes that there may not be enough money for both him and his brother to go.  He closes his essay saying that if it came down to only having enough money for one brother to go to school, he would drop out to work to send his younger brother to college.

Another student, a football player, mentions how he finds his strength from his mother.  She had the courage to leave an abusive husband who threatened to kill both her and the children.  Years later, this student's dad, in a fit of rage, shot his girlfriend in the chest and is now in prison for life.  The boy refuses to be defined by his father's legacy and has found strength in becoming his own man.  He is one of the most athletic, involved, and religious students at the school and is respected by his peers.  To add to his dynamic, his mother suffers from many illnesses and he wakes up throughout the night to check on her.  It is during these breaks throughout the night that he finds the time to do his homework.

More insight to students' hidden struggles comes from a student survey after the freshman lock-in at the school.  The question "what was your favorite part of the retreat?" was answered with "the trust blindfold activity - it felt so good to actually be able to trust someone."  The question "What did you most like about sleeping over at the school for the night?" was answered simply by multiple students: "I felt safe...".

In my everyday interactions with these students, they are just typical high school boys.  They laugh and talk about girls and sports.  But underneath this guise of normalcy, many have baggage such as this.  Domestic violence, sexual abuse, economic strains, and the destruction of gang activity all weigh heavy on their lives.  The boys carry these burdons on their shoulders as they venture into the unknown of being first-generation college students, somehow with poise, grace, and most remarkably, a smile.